Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
