A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
