wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
