The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
3 2 1 whiskey
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
