so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
