it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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