Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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