I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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