I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
