from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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