when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I am available for nakedness
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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