I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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