You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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