so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
