At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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