I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
