I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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