Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
