its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
