Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
