I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
