So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
