Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
