If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
