I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
