i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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