I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
