whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
