I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Randomize
