Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
