I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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