No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
