Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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