You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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