i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
