Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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