plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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