Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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