So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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