I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
