Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
