I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
