You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
