maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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