okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
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