Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
