She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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