Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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