How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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