I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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